mutantenemy: (humour::dear life)
The radio silence was not intentional, merely me suffering from a hardcore bout of Procraftinitis. So many things I wish to share and / or write about and when faced with the daunting task, I crumbled underneath the weight of my own expectations and resorted to watching my favorite episodes of "NCIS".

What did I learn? First off, that there is no such thing as too much Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Secondly, I learned I need to get off my ass and back into writing every couple of days rather than the odd chance sighting once in a blue moon.

"Oh my goodness? Did you see that? It flashed right by!"

"What?"

"A UWP! An Unidentified Writing Piece! I recall seeing it a few times around Ember's blog so long ago, but now, golly gosh-gee-willikers, it has resurfaced. QUICK! TAKE A SCREEN CAPTURE."


All silliness aside, I shall try to do better. Now on with the update.

Last weekend I performed my first official duty as an Audubon Society Volunteer by helping them with Non-Native Vegetation Control. In other words, on the spring equinox I played in the mud and pulled English Ivy for six hours along the hiking trails.

I loved every minute of it. My body didn't, but I sure as hell did. I tromped through mud, played in the mud, placed mud on areas of my skin which brushed up against Stinging Nettles (not very annoying as some might think, but then my tolerance for itch is quite high), and came home with mud all over my cargo pants. Wheeee! I figured the equinox was a darn tootin' good day to give back to the Blessed Mother and to the nature loving community.

My muscles eventually did not agree. While they griped and moaned, I got myself all dolled up to take a dear friend out dancing for her birthday. We hit one of the popular clubs and, ee-gads, I cannot believe I used to frequent this joint three nights a week to dance my ass off. I did hit the dance floor, my body remembered the moves and created new ones, I was back in my element though I was quite a bit out of shape. Regardless, I had strangers approaching my friend saying, "You're redheaded friend out there is a really good dancer." Thank the gods, I have not lost my gift. While others feel lost if they're not writing, or photographing, or crafting, or singing.....for me, it's dancing. Why I haven't danced for so long...well....there are many excuses. The most embarrassing one is I'm not in the physical shape I used to be and my pride cannot imagine dancing if I'm out of breath. But then, how else am I going to get into better shape unless I exercise ala dancing?

Yup. Nasty catch-22 of the subconscious kind.

Sunday crawled into being and I crawled out of bed. Muscles were in a full throttle roar of such aggressive disappointment you'd think they were Republican or something. Pulling ivy and then dancing put me over the edge, but not without grasping four Advil Liquid Gels in the process. My left shoulder and right knee moved as if they were made of poppy paper (bubble wrap), as I shuffled around the house. Yeah, I need to dance more. I also need to stop making excuses for not dancing more. Before I was a writer, a reader, a girl with a crafty soul....I was a dancer.

No.

I AM a dancer.
mutantenemy: (humour::cricket sees wut u did thar)
So much for being able to do NaBloPoMo for January. Le sigh. I tried, I really did. But rather than look upon this as a failure, I'd rather look at this as quite the accomplishment.

No, really.

In the past, out of 30 days, I would probably only post about ten times. Maybe less, maybe a little bit more. Yet with NaBloPoMo, I actually posted about 25 out of the 31 days. That's freaking fabulous for me! Me, who attempted the Embodiment Project** twice and failed. Me, who even though has not been posting lately is STILL doing her daily photo.

On the agenda today, rather than frantically write up posts to back date to give the illusion I've written every day, I'm going to spam my own blog. Just post roughly three or four entries all marked today. I don't have to prove to anyone but myself that I am capable of achieving my goals. And on many levels I already have.

**The Embodiment Project is a Livejournal community where starting on January 1st, one hand writes in their journal every single day for the entire year. Many folks sketch, paint, do collage, doodle, or merely write and they post photos of their artistic entries. My first year I bit off more than I could chew (shocker) and tried to pursue it via an altered book. I lasted about two months. The next year I kept it simple with just writing and I also lasted, again, roughly two months. Doing something on a daily basis, other than getting out of bed, is simply not my thing. I learned that the hard way.

Podcast for Thought

Thursday, 7 January 2010 06:03 pm
mutantenemy: (craft::firelady)
I have a few goals this year to help instill more discipline within my character. Not that I've always been a scatter brain. Quite the contrary, I've been able to accomplish some amazing things in my lifetime because of my dedication (eg: Complete 5 years worth of Priestesshood studies within 3). However, I also know myself to be a lazy ass if I allow it.

And I'm done with allowing it.

2010 is going to mark great change, great progress because my intent is phenomenally strong.

Goal of the First -- write in my blog every day to the best of my ability. I say "best of my ability" because if I am down with The Crud™, I certainly will not have the energy to ticka-tacka out a few lines of prose. Or if I'm traveling and out of town. I never bring my laptop camping, so I doubt during festival weekends I'll be huddled in my Coppery Barn triangulating the nearest wi-fi signal.

Goal of the Second -- take a photo every day. Taking one is easy, posting it falls under the caveats of previous goal.

Goal of the Third -- create a daily spiritual practice and stick with it. This is a biggie. Way back in the day I used to mediate after work. Every day. Folks noticed a difference in the energy I put out ("Nothing stresses you!") and I noticed how less my feathers were ruffled. Over the past 14 years, my daily practice has been sporadic at best. I want to change that.

What has spurred this quest for inner discipline has been a long time coming, but today during my morning walk, I got a reminder. Not an Anvil or a Clue x Four, but an affectionate whop upside the back of the head ala Gibbs style.

For the past two weeks I've opted to not listen to heart-thumping music while I walk, but to a podcast by T. Thorn Coyle called "Elemental Castings". Each week (or every other week) she focuses on each element and what they represent in our lives. Today's was about FIRE: creativity, will, intent. Her guest speaker, Mark, was a man very connected to Energy and Fire. He started his practice way back in high school with martial arts and eventually came through to the Western Esoteric magick through his studies of the Eastern philosophies. Mark quoted everything from Buddhism, to Hinduism, to the Qabbalah regarding Will. But that is not what impressed me. What caught my intention is, for being such a fiery woman to begin with, I have not harnessed the power of my Will to its fullest capacity. To be able to do work with intent, intent to bring Joy into my life. I somehow allowed myself to get sucked up into the mundane worries we all have of bills, rent, and finding a job. I've been performing these jobs with no Joy and with only a mere tapping into the power of my Will.

Mark then shared his daily practice, which upon hearing made me feel very, very lazy. He gets up at 4:20am every morning to do his spiritual practice, part of which includes mantra chanting for one hour and doing some working stances out underneath the sun. This does not include his three times a week nightly practice.

I need that. I've been feeling the strong need for that, but I have not been complying. I've been allowing myself to get distracted with knitting and reading and writing. Not being creative to infuse creative intent, but to keep my mind off of things I know I should be doing.

Bad Ember.

"You have two choices. You can either be a Slave or a Master," rang through my earbuds. I sucked in my breath and listened. "You can chose to meditate for an hour or chose to waste your time watching that tv show. Your choice." Yes. I have a choice. Quite elementary logic in thought, but in practice not so much.

So, I've made a choice. I choose to be a Master.


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